My grandfather is at the last stage of his life, stuck in limbo between life and death, neither particularly here nor there. He was not a very affectionate man in his life. In fact, he was routinely disliked and considered a ‘grouch’ by many around him. Regardless he had many friends and a big family, people who would do anything for him. Why, you ask? Well, because my grandfather didn’t ever really learn how to say the words ‘I love you’, in fact, I don’t even think he ever said those words to me. Yet, neither me, nor anyone else in his life ever doubted how much he loved us.

You see, my grandfather believed that how much you love someone is directly proportional to how useful you can make yourself to them. There were always flowers, a card and cake waiting for me in the fridge on my birthday with an adorable little gift, when I was younger he would feed me breakfast by telling me a story about a diver and a shark (I was the shark and the ketchup on the egg was the blood), as I grew older he opened me a bank account, taught me how to draft a formal letter, did all of my bank work for me, and supported me when I fought a professor in my second year of college. He was not a saint, nor was he perfect, but he taught me the importance of showing up for the people you love sometimes without expecting anything in return.

You see, through my relationship with my grandfather, I learnt a very important lesson about how love can be measured in the language of the giver. You can feel it in the way people do for you what they possibly would want done for them. My grandfather spent his life showing up for people, sometimes in the wrong way, sometimes with not enough knowledge, but he never stopped trying. In fact, one of the last things he ever did was try to put me in touch with a solicitor and mentor me even as his own health and consciousness was slipping. I will never in my life have to doubt whether my grandfather loved me or not, and for that I will be eternally grateful to him.

In the way life and death are so intertwined, in the way that people I do not know attempt to offer me solace as I do the same for them.

Now as I circle waiting rooms, ICUs, watch him slip further and further away hooked to machines and suffering beyond anything I have ever imagined in my life, I can’t help but want to see the love and the art in everything. In the way life and death are so intertwined, in the way that people I do not know attempt to offer me solace as I do the same for them by sharing a sad smile or a conversation about the loved ones we are waiting for in the waiting room, in the way that the nurses work so hard to offer my grandfather dignity in his final moments, dignity that this illness keeps threatening to take away, and in the way my parents would do anything for him, whatsoever be the cost without once complaining about the humongous task caregiving is.

In the 19th century, surgeons, nurses and doctors did not use surgical gloves. In fact, surgical gloves as a concept did not exist. However, at John Hopkins Hospital, a nurse by the name of Caroline Thompson contracted severe contact dermatitis thanks to the chemicals used in the Operating Room. Unable to see her suffer in this way, the famed surgeon William Stewart Halsted, who was also courting her at the time, ordered two pairs of rubber gloves with gauntlets using a plaster cast of her hands. They were married shortly after and the discovery had far reaching implications, bringing forth how not just for the protection of the doctor, but also for eliminating the risk of infection in patients gloves are imperative. Halsted and his wife had a long, unconventional marriage wherein they respected each other’s privacy and space to an extreme, even living in separate apartments in the same complex, a marriage that endured Halsted’s accidental cocaine addiction until they both died weeks apart, Halsted from complications following gallbladder surgery and Caroline from pneumonia weeks later.

In 1920, Josephine Knight kept hurting herself in the kitchen, cuts and burns, that she would struggle to heal using scraps of fabric. Her husband  Earle Dickson, cotton buyer for Johnson and Johnson, combined adhesive and gauze to create a bandage she could easily use. Johnson and Johnson brought these bandages to the market later and that is how we now have Band-Aids.

Until 1932, wheelchairs used to be super heavy and hard to transport, until a man named Henry Jennings decided to do something about that for his paraplegic friend Herbert Everest and created a convenient, lighter, folding wheelchair so his friend could have greater mobility and accessibility. They later formed the Everest and Jennings company together that was at the forefront of innovation for wheelchair users.

A Brooklyn software engineer named Thomas Wardle, created the word game Wordle, because he wanted to make something his wife would enjoy playing as she enjoyed puzzles and word games. It was acquired by The Times in 2021 and is now a beloved game for many around the world.

While love being an eternal inspiration is tiring, it is true.

In March 1890, a man by the name of Theo submitted 10 of his brother’s paintings to a Paris exhibition, while his brother had had himself voluntarily admitted to a psychiatric institution. He even wrote to his brother telling him all the appreciation his paintings received and took care of him and did all he could to ensure his brother would continue creating art for as long as possible. Theo Van Gogh even named his son Vincent, after his brother Vincent Van Gogh and was with him until the very end by his deathbed after Vincent shot himself in the chest. It is thanks to the enduring love between the brothers that we are now able to experience the magic of Van Gogh’s art.

While love being an eternal inspiration is tiring, it is true. Halsted and Caroline’s love saves lives and drives a legendary medical revolution. Josephine and Earle’s love heals wounds and cuts around the world to this day. Henry’s love for his friend Herbert has allowed people around the world to have greater accessibility. Thanks to Thomas and his love for his wife, we have a sensational game that entertains and challenges people of all age groups all over the world. If it wasn’t for Theo Van Gogh, Vincent would never have been able to showcase his talent and his magnificent artistic ability to the world. Invention, innovation, creativity, all come from the transformative power of love that is the foundation and inspiration and touches lives every day. Anyone who uses these innovations or consumes the art has been touched by love which is such a beautiful sentiment. I too wish to someday be able to say I was loved enough for inspiration, invention and innovation. I wish to love deeply enough to be inspired.

I wonder if my grandfather regrets not saying I love you when he had the chance. I wonder if he’s fighting to be around longer because he wants to be close to us. He may never know how much we love him, how much we would do for him and how much it pains us to see him like this. I wish I were able to invent something that alleviates his suffering or create art deep enough to reach the depth of his mind that he is locked in, but for now I hope this suffices.

Unfortunately, we note here with our deepest condolences that the author's grandfather, Mr. Naresh Parulekar, passed away on September 12, 2024.